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Prayer Life
by Sister Audrey Buttner, FMI
 

Daughters of Mary Immaculate

I would like to share with you how I have developed my prayer life over the years.

In the past, my main focus has been on reading spiritual books and scripture, then meditating on these readings. I still do this, but my prayer has taken on another form.

Since I have been a volunteer with Hospice, an organization which works with the dying and their families during terminal illness and death, I have come to see how God gives a person a beautiful life, and how this life is taken away. The dying have taught me so much. When I visited a patient for the first time, I found myself wondering, "What can I bring this person? What can I have in my hand? What am I going to say? What if I cannot answer this person's questions?"

I now realize I need to go open-handed, with a listening heart, to listen to their needs. As I get to know the people, I ask if I may pray with them. I try to pray about the things I've heard, or what I feel would help them through this difficult time- reflecting their personal needs. I take their hands in mine to symbolize our common faith.

How has all this changed my own prayer? Now I look at life in a different way. I realize life can be taken away from us at any time. So I go to pray with an open heart; I try to be silent. I listen; my hands are open, waiting to be filled. Yes, it can be beautiful, but for me, as for my patients, there are things I don't want to hear, or things I want to avoid. God will help us accept and live with the difficulties of life if we are faithful and open. My personal prayer has been greatly enriched with hospice patients.

As a member of a religious community, I also find my community prayer supportive. The different types of community prayer are very helpful. As a community, we use vocal prayers most of the time, but we adapt these prayers to our community and personal needs. The balance of personal and community prayer is very supportive in my Marianist life.

Sr. Audrey is working in Toledo, OH with home/health care nursing. She and her community live among the poor.


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